A couple months ago, I was working on some lyrics to a song I still have yet to finish. Side note: I should finish it! Anyway, there is a line that I wrote that goes: “Who am I to sit and cry and watch my life just pass me by.” Its a bit dramatic, but here is what I have noticed in my life and I’m hoping I’m not the only one..(fingers crossed…or else, this post would be pointless…). Everyone has a miserable set of struggles they experience in life and I have always been one to belittle my hardships and tell myself that others have it worse and to just get over it. The problem here is that there is no healing in this process. No matter how hard I try to move on I still hurt inside. You have every right to let yourself feel the pain of life. You know what hurts you, so acknowledge it. Comparing your problems to someone else’s is not healthy, We each have to work through our deep blue days and because we are all different, that is going to look and feel very different for each person. It is when we don’t work though our own problems and compare the intensity of our struggles to our peers that we forget to heal from ours and then push them away deep down in our hearts to where it slowly begins to ferment and smell like that nasty rotten lettuce that nobody ever throws away that just sulks in the fridge until it becomes the mysterious smell that no one can ever figure out.
Well, that stench is our attitudes, or at least mine. It becomes this nasty circle of feeling bad, to pretending that I’m really tough and can deal with the crap, to sitting and crying and feeling sorry for myself, to feeling bad about feeling sorry for myself and then trying to be the toughest cookie around, to breaking down and crying again. I could continue the circle, but I’m sure you can see the circle is pretty clear now.
Working through the pain of life sucks, but when we actually let ourselves be weak for a moment or two or three, realize that the struggle is real, no matter the size, refrain form comparing it to someone else’s and slowly pick ourselves up, we will be able to healthily move on. Instead of watching our lives pass us by, we can run alongside with it and experience the thrill of it.